We are trying very hard not to be “finished” with our mission and work before it was actually over, but we are also having to wind things up. It has become harder. One reason is that some of the choices that we have made in interacting with people here are not sustainable. This particularly applies to the local village kids. Any one who has been here will tell you that if you start something, no matter how small and well intentioned, it will set off a snowball of expectations from people and especially the children and then you cannot explain to them that you have no more or no more time or just don’t want to do it right now. We have created a situation in which we can’t even sit on our front porch in the evening and watch the sunset or read a book.
One of the ways that we thought it would be fun for Annie to be able to interact with the local kids is by painting fingernails as she loves to do. She is constantly begging to do my nails and I hate to have my nails painted. This didn’t work out all that well because she really couldn’t interact with kids much because the kids her age do not speak English well (they are not being taught it in school yet) and it seems that most of the kids in our village do not go on to secondary school. We haven’t found any kids that could really speak English well. So, I have been the one to do the fingernails. And, believe me, there are a lot of fingernails that want to get painted. In a place where you have no form of adornment in terms of jewelry, hair accessories, etc. a little bit of nail polish can make you feel very pretty. So, I patiently painted the nails on every hand that was extended to me there in the yard, and sometimes there were 15 or 20 girls. I was glad that I could make them just a little bit happy. But there would be a line of girls over the fence every day calling “Polish! Polish!”
It also applies to money and giving money. Ruth and Tom told us before we came here people would ask us for money. I thought that this would mean that people would ask for things on the streets or that strangers would come to our door because they had heard that rich white people were there and ask for something. I didn’t understand that it would be people who we had come to think of as our friends who would be doing the asking. It is much harder to say “no” when you know the people, their circumstances and their needs and then you compare those to your own. We have since learned (and those of you who have traveled in Africa can give feed back on this if you would like) that in this culture asking for things from others is completely acceptable. It doesn’t carry the same negative connotations as it does here, people don’t feel humiliated as we would, and they are very accepting of an answer of “no”. They won’t hold it against you. Suffice it to say that we have all had a very hard time saying no and it creates a lot of tension in us about who is going to ask us for something next and what we should say.
We have also had a hard time with wondering if people are ripping us off. Mark has had several occasions to take tires to get them repaired. They have gone flat three times. The last time it happened was just a day or two before we were leaving and so we had errands to do up and down the road in order to wrap things up. We were also driving people around, dropping them off at MCV, etc. So we drove on past MCV to Madego. Mark knew that there were multiple tire places along that stretch of road. We got the tire out to be fixed and the guys there said that they didn’t speak any English at all. That was probably a good sign to try some where else. We tried to explain to them that we were dropping the tire off and would be back later. Then, when we got back in the car it wouldn’t start. It just click click clicked. So then we tried to push start it (I was in the driver’s seat and didn’t realize that the ignition wasn’t switched on) so that didn’t work. Mark got out and the kids and I started to push. At that point, a bunch of men began pushing and it got started right away. A few of them started demanding money of me. I didn’t have any at all. By then, we just wanted to get the heck out of there. When we came back to get the tire the guy said that we owed him 2000 kwacha! I know that it doesn’t mean anything to you, but as I said, we had had tires fixed before and knew what it was supposed to cost. This would be the same as taking a tire to Johnson Tire Company expecting to pay 30 dollars to get it fixed and instead being charged $180. It was really an outrageous sum and the guy knew it. I was in the car when all of this was going on and I hear Mark arguing with the guy (who doesn’t speak English). He didn’t know what to do, he had already fixed the tire and you know how it is in the states. You have to pay what you’re being charged, but you have recourse. Here, we feel that there is no recourse. Anyway, Mark had already given him 1200K which is still crazy and he was demanding the rest. I got out of the car, slammed the door, marched over and started asking what was going on. I started telling him (loudly) that he knew 2000 was a ridiculous price and that he was treating us dishonestly. There was some hand waving and gesticulating going on as well. He immediately started saying, “It’s OK, it’s OK” and wanting us then to go away. I told Mark that I am happy to pay bad cop for the rest of the trip. I’m not big on being rude, but we are finding that sometimes here you have to be.
Just after this we had to stop at the little grocery store to buy bread for breakfast and we were mobbed by 6 or 7 kids shouting and begging for money. We were longing to be back home about this time.
Once again, we have to constantly keep our focus. We have to be understanding and compassionate toward people who are very needy and we are OK with being charged a little effort in the market (as we know that we are) because it is still very inexpensive for us. But we also can’t let ourselves be taken advantage of. Well, we could. We could just throw money at the situation and withdraw ourselves from it, but I don’t think that it’s the right solution for anyone. I think that we need to keep talking, communicating in whatever ways that we can, until we can work things out. It is NOT easy here. Most things that are a part of our daily lives at home are much more difficult here, but the difficulties are definitely part of the experience, part of how we will be effected by this culture.
No comments:
Post a Comment